Quadrant 1: Idolize Quadrant 2: Idolize Quadrant 3: Idolize Quadrant 4: Idolize

Are there bears in Marilyn Monroe's hair?
As seen in Andy Warhol sheets.
I hide in my room and peek at the world
Through a colourful box on my desk.
From that place on the bed
against Marilyn Monroe's head
I can create and see
all of our crazy antics,
and I ponder quite slowly
about what Warhol would make
of all our 'mistakes'
and obvious foresight.
Maybe he was as ignorant as we are,
maybe he was the start?
Monroe was the image of purity being slain
and Warhol told us off with colourful stains.
He humbled the artist in playing completely dumb
and we idolize him for it.
We idolized Marilyn for it.
We idolize the internet for it.

ctrl + f "mary-land"

ctrl + f "mary-land"

things i might possibly 'miss' about mary-land
she is calm and quiet, a 'shock' from bustling busy new york city, but
she is no less sporadic
she had a lot of trees.
she had a community of people who liked tv.
she is full of conversations.
she can possibly have radioactive water.
she is likely a candidate for places to 'settle down'
she listened to a lot of diverse music, none of which i disliked
she has negative space, and parallel lines within her composition
she is friendly to animals and likes to preserve wildlife
she feels slightly incomplete in memory
she could possibly be unreliable but
she is totally worth the risk
she is a highly irrational concept to pursue
she is sparsely decorated with 'unneccessities'
she is hard to reach but easy to find

the other day, I brushed arms with mary-land
and today I don't know where she is

54 days till Egypt

Karel was always interested in people. She wanted to visit all corners of the world just to get to know them. One place, in particular, seemed to fascinate her; Egypt. She would always dream up big ideas of her little self floating on a magic carpet, swerving between the pyramids.

As she grew older, she became accustomed to new responsibilities. One such responsibility was learning 'truth' from 'fiction'. Karel was often criticized for being stubborn, and was cast off as "incountable" by her peers for never learning this. She did learn that magic carpets were impossible, and that the Egyptians had a rich history of exploit in faith-based monarchies.

She studied at the college, Ancient History: Egyptian Studies (go figure), and worked at a boutique in a trendy city neighbourhood. She felt busy and paranoid, and often stressed, but she was determined to get to Egypt. Her coworker's would often hear Karel say, "When I get to Egypt..." and various hopeful premonitions. Then one day they heard her say "54 days till Egypt..."

That same day, Karel had suffered a huge loss in grades, and she was unsure why. She decided to cut back on her hours and get serious about her job. Karel worked on weekends, and became so devoted, her coworkers noticed a constant paranoia in her towards the customers. Karel called the security so often over the next two months of the summer semester, that eventually they became friends and eventually became tireless of Karel's antics; finally asking: "When are you going to Egypt?"

To which Karel responded, "54 days."

The security guards continued to visit whenever Karel called, and sometimes, she'd even be right. She was feeling happy, and her grades had improved. Her time at work had been productive, and she surely had accumulated enough money and resources for a ticket to Egypt. One day, Karel finally proclaimed to her coworkers, "One week till Egypt!" and they surely took notice: "54 days passes by so fast!"

The security guards visited her several days later, but she had not called them in. They were accompanied by police officers, who cuffed and arrested Karel and took her to the station. Her coworkers later learned that she had been shoplifting for many months and even selling some of the spoils.

Now she can't leave the country.

Just my luck

I'm not in a closet
I just can't get any women
I came from this blog
Where for six months 
I'd fictionalize my fantasies
Avoiding the reality of my inhibitions

I knew there was one
that was right for my loving
but time had to soil
the excitement for each of us


I don't think it's fair
That everytime I try to mainstream
My heart gets soiled
By my disinterest

Now I found something intangibly
Promising in your words
Five months to the day
In our first correspondence

Now that my fear is gone 
I have taken the jump
Off that cliff by the lake
Where we spent a drunken night

Except I never went
And you were never there
As I realized when I awoke
Alone the next morning

Next time lets just be honest and save us both the bother

Now I'm coming 
And you don't want me anymore 
That's okay
Because I don't know what I want either

But you barely know me
So don't pass judgrmnt
On words represented through font
Hear my voice, Feel my touch, 
Lets sit in silence
Before you let your hopes 
Wrought

See my smile
Heed my kiss
Embrace the conversation
Don't let your fears
Destroy our progress
The success is based on perception. 

Floyd is loyal 
Floyd believes
That's why he's coming all that way
To take the risk
For nothing ventured
Nothing 'gained'

I am honest 
Despite previous experience.
To myself I make no promise
Of your allegiance

All I can say,
Is I'm worried all the same
The nervous illusion
That you're not what I expected
 
I know you're just nervous,
Afraid that I'm a flame
Ready to whither and wimper
At the hands of your withdrawl

Though I will try
Because you're worth it
Despite the shortcomings in both of us
There's a basic person
Who believes what
I feel
And knows what I believe
I may not be the one
You wake to every morning
But for three days lets
Let fantasy be reality
And heed no warnings

My bloods been poured on the eagles wings

Today is a surprise party.
Today it's a surprise party for my friend Deanne
It is her birthday
We rented a bus
It is a large bus that extends twice the normal length of a regular party bus.
There are couches in it.
It is slowly being occupied by people I did not invite.
Who are these faces? They are having a good time.
I am okay with their presence.
Where is Deanne?
I find Deanne having sex with Leone and Kennedy.
I've never met Kennedy.
He is handsome.
Deanne's never met Leone
She is gorgeous
She is British
Deanne likes the British
They all like marijuana.

Miguel grabs my shoulder and tells me,
"we can't genuinely be friends,"
I get upset briefly.
Miguel introduces me to 'his friend' Ferlinghetti.
He is a nice dude.
He too likes marijuana.

We are traveling on a large bus,
It is getting larger and larger.
The bus driver won't tell me where we're going
He won't tell me if we've arrived.
We have arrived.
I only know this
Because the bus turned into a house
It is a large house.
There are budding friendships everywhere.

Eric mentions California
Daniel mentions marijuana legalization
Kennedy mentions his toy M-16
Ferlinghetti mentions Congressman Huxley wants to destroy
'good times'
Everyone gets mad.
Leone dances around Deanne,
Fanny and Samantha join in.
Morena and Mao start smoking a joint
Now everyone has got a pipe.
Our bus driver turns into Morgan Freeman
Hello Morgan Freeman.

Morgan Freeman invites penguins inside the two floor- once bus- now mountain lodge.
Kennedy and Ferlinghetti are speaking in a corner.
They leave the room. My eyes follow them, but I stay with my arms around Champagne and Fontaine.
They get into an SUV
Within twenty minutes, they are in a Greek Styled, post American-Revolution, political institution.
They approach Congressman Huxley.
Huxley pauses in shock when he sees Kennedy
He thinks Kennedy looks like JFK
He does, he's sharp and handsome, wearing a long brown coat and slicked back hair.
It's cold, both Kennedy and Ferlinghetti have a scarf.
They shoot Congressman Huxley
In the name of Freedom.
They make an exit
The cops don't see them
They are white and affluent looking.
They escape.

I see their SUV rolling up.
I lift Megans head from my lap to see the fuss
A steady stream of very passive cop cars settle at the gas station across the street.
They produce weaponry and approach our BusLodge
They wait.
I can see through the barrel of their guns.
They are pointed at our doors.
Waiting.
I hear a whisper from Kennedy's SUV
I see Ferlinghetti zip away on a motorcycle
That motorcycle is going fast
but it wasn't there before.

The cops chase Ferlinghetti.
Ferlinghetti plays games
Breaking and accelerating like he's playing grand theft auto
he has smoked too much marijuana, he thinks.
I gave him shrooms earlier.

Ferlinghetti is hospitalized.
Kennedy sees him in bed.
The oddly large male nurse strips away the
"county hospital" sheets to reveal
"county prison" sheets.
Kennedy is shocked and gets in bed.

Ferlinghetti and Kennedy have not been caught.
They get away.
Because they are white
and somehow the law is ignorant to their crimes.
They are in trouble for speeding.
They make a plea
Now we're celebrating on the bus,
Driving to Cuba
Yes Cuba
Where we'll be safe
Because Ferlinghetti and Kennedy
Had made a plea
to Let the cops
come after me.

Then I woke up
and I am still in suburban Ontario
Realizing a subconscious part of me
Desperately wants to be an American.

Deanne calls me to thank me for the surprise party.

POEMS MOST PEOPLE WOULD FIND GOD AWFUL

'Genocide
On the buds of
My Tongue
Pesticides
Inside the walls of
my Lungs
Discharges
Outside my organs
of Fun


Body
Completely aware of it's self-
Destruction
Mind
Assured in it's
Persecution
Fear
Consuming the patterns of my heart
beat again'


Inconsequential?